Quick update!

What I did lastly:
-Ate kebab with Jeen
Dont like it much because too oily
-Watched Indiana Jones with Jalila
Well,not bad.Jalila wanted to watch so I accompanied her.
-Did a revision sunday
Not much actually but satisfied..
-Formule 1
Influenced by fahmi and shoba,I like to watch it.
It's exciting.Shoba dont watch it anymore...

Schedule for the week:
-3 more TD de maths
-3 DS(exams)
-Exposé français
-...

Wish me luck ya.Hope the force will be with me^ ^


*xiao xing*-want to do her best for this week!!!

Le dilemme

Lâchez-moi
J'en ai assez
A cause de vous
Je dors mal
Je souris presque plus
ou pas sincèrement
Je perds ma direction
Je sais plus où j'en suis
Je sais plus quoi faire

Dites-moi
Je suis qui
Aidez moi
De devenir plus forte
Aimez moi
J'en ai besoin

Mais lâchez-moi
C'est peut-être le moment
Que pensez-vous?
Au moins
Montrez-moi
Mon demain...

Inspiration?

Saturday night,as usual the book is there but mind is somewhere
else.Thanks to shoba and kim hwa for calling me ya..
Shoba,I miss u gal..
Kim Hwa told me that there are another two persons from my
secondary school,SMJK Krian are coming to France..what a shock.

Yesterday night,Muz brought me and Jeen to KFC.Well,it's not
extraordinary but long time dint sit in the car..So we ate a
bucket'party' and a dessert.Then we sat there talking till
11pm.Then Muz wanted to send me home.But we got lost at first.
Ai,what a shame.At last,we reached my place.They came up to
drink tea.We talked till 2am in the morning.Muz said he couldnt
recognize fahmi that day.He said fahmi changes a lot.aha..He
even said fahmi dyed his hair..lol..natural hair..Then Muz said
he likes kuaci and kai in toulouse too.Kuaci is a bit 'blank'
and kai is'cool'..wahaha..Nice to talk to them.Jeen,you are a
brave girl..

Today morning woke up at 10am.Did things slowly.Talked to my
sister for a while.Sorry sis,I am still not in mood to think
about your presents but I will do it,ok?After lunch,I went to
Yves Rocher for a facial treatment(soins beauté).First time I
did it.It was nice even though it was a bit painful when she
pressed all my blackspots etc..ah..Went home.Rainy days...
Tried to study thermo but in vain..Something goes wrong in me.
C'est la dernière ligne droite,c'est ce que tout le monde dit.
There are nine exams,three TPs and two weeks of class.Not much.
I just need to tell myself study first then I will be free..
Motivation?inspiration?I need them.I want to do my best too
because it's the end of semester..Jia you a pei xin!!!

*Kevin,hope you can get well soon.Sorry I cant go to visit u.
Thanks for telling me,fahmi and hariri.Wish you all are happy
and healthy.Must take care always^ ^ *

~xiao xing~ must wake up with a smile tomorrow..

Ru guo ni hai ai wo ( if u still love me )

 here is the song that I sang in the gala night.I love this song.
The lyrics reflect my situation right now..
Almost everytime I listen to it,my tears drop..
Hope that you all would like it..can leave comments..thanks^ ^

如果你还爱我

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
I leave with a tired heart
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
I know that I am no longer important in your heart
虽然我们曾经相聚过
Although we were together
也许对于你来说
Maybe to you
已经没有什么值得回忆
There is nothing to recall
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
I leave with a heavy heart
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
I know I dont have the courage to say goodbye
虽然我们曾经拥有过
Although we had the moment together
但是对于你来说
But to you
已经没有什么值得回忆
There is nothing to recall
难道早以注定
It is possible that it's predestined
不能真正拥有你
That I cant have you
难道我真心付出一切
It is possible that I truly devote everything
只为了承受孤单和寂寞
Just to endure the loneliness and solitude
我知道你不敢对我坦白
I know that you dont dare to be frank to me
是不要看到我的伤怀
Because you dont want to see me sad
虽然你没有说要离开我
Although you never said that you would leave me
我已经感到你不再属于我
I already feel that you are no longer mine 
如果你还爱我
If you still love me
你不会对我如此的冷漠
You will never be so indifferent to me
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
Also you will never let me wander alone in this long long night
如果你还爱我
If you still love me
你不会对我如此的冷漠
You will never be so indifferent to me
我只能含着眼泪
I can only fill my eyes with tears
默默的离开
leave silently

Paris--gala

Sitting in the train,looking at people..
Yeah,the weather was nice,everyone enjoyed the 5days weekend..
Got a message from fahmi,I had to meet arif and bring him to
fahmi's house later.Continued reading my math in the train...
Got a message from arif,we would meet in St.Lazare later,ok..

Reached gare de lyon,the train station that I know so clearly..
Bought a ticket jeune,headed to St Lazare with métro 14.
Got a call from arif,he just reached gare de l'est.
While waiting at St Lazare,suddenly thought of something funny
which happened here not long ago..in a toilet..aha
After waiting for half an hour,I was worried.Maybe arif got lost??
Luckily,a while later,he appeared.I called him.Long time no see..
Got to train heading to Bécon les bruyères..
fahmi was a bit frustated,he needed to go out buying something..
Before the bécon station,we were told to meet him at La Défense.
Fine,we waited there for another transilien.Talked to arif..
Talked about studies,friends,holidays,etc..
At last,we reached La Défense.Saw fahmi in front of castorama.
He cut his hair,looks better(kuaci,u have the longest hair now!!)
He wanted to go to Jules so we waited there..damn hot!!
Finally,we reached his house.He bought a vest for the gala..
He started trying his vest with his shirt,showing off with his
sexy hair(he said it).I took some photos..He asked I and arif to
change too.As I was lazy,I refused.Arif said he would change if I
do...No no,I was hungry.I urged them to go for dinner.I was 
going to get gastric and he knew it.
Destination: restaurant malaysia.A senior,Azizi joined us.Of course,
we met malaysians there.I ate mee goreng ayam,fahmi ate mee
goreng lembu,arif nasi briyani kambing,azizi ate nasi lemak(he had
problems finishing it because the sambal was not that nice).
Four of us ordered for teh tarik.So long I dint drink that..
Arid wanted to see the eiffel tower at night..So there we went..
Trocadéro is just so far away from La chappelle..
But the night view was fabulous.Fahmi took videos.
How stupid I was,following the guys.As a result,I fell down while
trying to walk through the slope.Oh,my buttock was painful.
Stayed there for 10minutes and we headed back,scared there
were no more métros or transiliens.
Midnight--didnt get a good sleep,I needed my lovely bed..


The day---
Woke up early too.The sun shone.Fahmi went out buying
breakfast.Some baguettes and bananas.He wanted to do goreng
pisang.I was the one who washed the plate so that he could cook
it.We sipped the tea,ate goreng pisang.Watched japanese movie
'Nana'.Half way,they slept.Before the end of the story,fahmi woke
up,played guitar.Nice movie it was.A story of two girls named n
ana..After taking a bath,arif woke up.I wanted to go out for lunch.
It endedup that we went to La Défense without fahmi.He wanted
watchingformula 1.Had some chinese noodle.Then,we sat down
the grande arche.It was fun watching people there.The wind was
there.Back in fahmi's house,I started to make up.Aha.the guys
looked at me saying you not yet finish??
They dressed up too,looked smart wor..with theirs suits..
I reached the ship first.Saw Jeen.They were there since 4o'clock.
After putting on my dress,I welcomed people at the entry.One by
one,people came.Fahmi and arif couldnt get to the hotel because it
was too late.They were scared being left by the ship.Thanks for
bringing my beg(sorry menyusahkan).So,I saw her.That girl who
I would like to meet since 2 months ago.Mixed feelings I had..
At last,the ship moved with 100 persons on it.The gala started.
Short talk from Jeen,the organiser.We started having dinner.The
nasi lemak was damn spicy that most of us couldnt finish it.Poor
fahmi.He started to feel itchy again.He asked whether we got
other menu :p.We passed by statue de liberté,tour eiffel..There
was a cocktail.Got to talk to some seniors and juniors.Took some
photos.Enjoyed the wind.Before the gala ended,I was asked to
sing a song.I was so nervous that I dint move a lot.I clinged to
the microphone while singing.I enjoyed the moment.I was
searching for someone in my mind..A loud applause I received.
Apparently,it was not too bad.People greeted me as I passed by
their tables.I hope to see the video after this.Hehe...Then,I went
upstairs.Fahmi left already.Talked with arif.He said that I must
have practised singing a lot.Aha..
Bid goodbye to poeple and the ship,we went back to the hotel.
Tired,I washed up and slept.Thought of shobana.She cancelled
her place last minute.
*Sorry for the things that I did wrong and thanks for the poeple
who came for the gala,it was nice to see you all*

So here I am,in my small apartment.One month to go before going
back.Tomorrow I will have a math exam.Again..I revised but I
think it's not enough.After dinner,I must study somemore..Wish
me luck..
Hungry lor..dinner!!!

*xiao xing*-yao jia you!!Bu yao hu si luan xiang!

a not special day...

--public holiday--

woke up quite early..online and online..singing alone in my
appartment..finished the comments for tp info.what a relief!!
my landlord invited me to go to cycle..yeah!!!

It was a bit crazy cycling at 1.30pm but she got to work at 5pm.
She's too nice.I got the chance to use her new bike and she said
I can borrow the bike when I want.She showed me the garage to 
put the bike ...C'est parti!Wow,it's cool to take the bike after so long.
I felt happy^ ^.We took the road to go to the campus.The weather
was hot...Then we passed houille blanche.I had a strange sensation.
When I looked up,I saw zhi hui and max.I think they said hi to me.
But it was too fast.I wasnot sure.What a coïncidence..ahaha...

Reached the area of campus.It was quiet.We passed by ENSIEG,
a building where I have my class everyday.Today there were
interviews CPP.Well,I dont know how it is because I didnt have
an interview to enter CPP.The candidates must be very nervous.
Good luck for them.On the way back, I felt that my skin was
burning.When I watched at my hands, they were red..Oh ,I am 
going to be  'dark' again..After almost 2hours of cycling,I felt
 that buttocks were painful.Aha,it's a newbike after all.Thanks
to my landlord foraccompanying me.I am really grateful to have
her and her husband always there for me..

The rest of the day I spent by surfing the net again and searching
for the old songs.And singing..because I have to sing in the gala
(prom night) in 3 days time.Nervous,worried..It will be the first
 time for me to sing in front of 100 people.Jeen said at least one song,so maybe I will sing two then.The first one will be guang liang 
'ru guo ni hai ai wo'(if u still love me) and the second one will be
jolin tsai'dao dai' (rewind).I really hope I can sing well on sunday..
Gkai said dont think too much,just think about the song.

Today is a nice day.I am relaxed and calm.No tension.
Good luck and congratulations to the JPA batch 7  juniors who get
and who dint get their first choices.May their future will be bright!!
Happy to know kuaci gets his internship(sorry if my blog is abstract
sometimes=.=.I like to read your blog if u want to know..hehe)
Thanks to the family of landlord's daughter for remembering me.
Next timeI will go to your house whatever it happens.I want to
see the little baby.
Hope that jennifer is doing better..
Hope my family is in the pink of health...

*xiao xing*-feels better

...

I should not have read that...
now I feel bad..sad?guilty?scared?dont know...
I have tried very hard to put that issu apart,but now seems everything
comes back again..I dont want!!!
I dont even know the whole story and I feel so helpless.
I cant help myself to feel bad...
I was told,it's not my matter but I feel that I was the main cause of it.
Tired of asking,I gave up.
It's not easy to face them anymore.
Things change.
Maybe I should not be like that before..
Lots of maybe..I regret now.Seriously..
I'm sorry for what I did.

--have to stop now..DS commun of Maths is waiting for me
   two more days..can I manage it?I hope I can..Jia you,pei xin!

*xiao xing*-en a un peu marre de maths