Holiday...

Holiday is here...But I realised that I dont feel really happy.
Everyone is down there having fun and chatting but I'm here
blogging.I dont know what happens to me recently.I guess I'm
just too moody and I hope this period will end soon.I still
have the difficulty to join people and the worst is even with
the malaysians I feel some kind of uneasiness.Why but why?
I suddenly want to be alone at my home now and I dont bother
to go to travel already.I hope I will feel better when I meet
shoba tomorrow.I need someone really close to be with me now.
I miss my home in Malaysia,I miss my sisters,I miss my parents.

Anyway,I received three early Christmas's presents,one is from
my landlady,one is from Jalila and one is from a friend.There
are perfume,candle-lamp and a mini microscope-telescope.I like
them very much.Thanks ya...

After tomorrow,I'll be in Athens.Hope the riot wont affect our
trip.I wish it'll be an enjoyable and safe trip.

Happy Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone !!!

My mind went blank

My mind went blank during the exam...
This is the second time in this week and I start
to feel scared.Do I have enough sleep?Do I stress?
Damn it!I revised well yesterday but still I couldnt
do much in 'Probability'.I just couldnt understand
what's the question.ah!!!!I want to scream aloud.I felt
really bad after coming out from the exam,so I went
walking under the snow.Yes it snowed again,it's the
third time.I felt better but still wanted to cry...
I sms my sister,I really need some encouragement at
that moment and I know she would reassure me.Reaching
home,I grabbed some 'papillotes' and ate them.It's a
kind of chocolat that we eat during Christmas.Then I
cooked lunch while playing Geo Challenge.I need to
release tension.Now I feel much more better.
So,I have three more exams:english ,biology and
chemistry.I like these subjects so I really hope and
WANT to do BETTER!!!
Study study study!Jia you jia you jia you!!!

Oral noté

A rose.I bought it,pathetic hein? Haha^ ^.Actually it was an
object for my oral presentation of communication this morning.
The only instruction is 'Etonnez-vous,étonnez nous!'(we have
to do something to surprise ourself and others).After having
a hard time in choosing the theme and article,I chose three
songs:Tant qu'on rêve encore(as long as we have dreams),la
vie passe(life goes) and I'm yours.Then I wrote three parts
concerning these songs.With the help of Jalila,we figured
up the presentation.She really helped me a lot.I'm so
grateful to her.So,I told a story of a girl and song the
chorus of that three songs.Hoho,first time I sang english
and french song in front of people.My classmates were
surprised,they never heard me singing before,except Jalila.
Well,I can say that they like it.I'm happy that I did a good
job.I like the communication class,it really helps the timid
me to become better in confronting people.

Next week is the week of 'heaven' or 'hell',it depends on
how I interpret it.haha...eight exams to go and after that
it's the holiday!So I must start the hellish revision now
in order to have a 'peaceful' and happy holiday.
Be motivated,pei xin!!!
For everyone who is having their exams now,good luck^ ^

*Fête des lumières 灯节 festival of lights*

It's a special festival in Lyon on 8 December.I went there last
year,this year as well.I found that it's more interesting this
year and I like it.I have no regret of going there even though
I have tons of works to do.I'm not going to write long so here
are the photos.

*Last year 2007*
I remember that I went with mah,wenshao and their INSA friends.


~I like this the most~




~Street in Lyon~

*This year*
Thanks to xinzhu,ping tarng,goh,mah and weepin,I had a nice day^ ^


~Marché Noël at Perrache~


~Nice decorations~


~Bellecour~




~Along the riverside~


~Hôtel de ville~


~Fontaine de poisson~


~church(forget the name)~


~girls~

*Hope the 'lumière' will stay with me always*

It snowed...

This morning,I got up hardly from my bed.Then I looked out
from the window and surprise!It was snowing...It was all
white^ ^.I didnt expect that it would happen,so I was so
happy...I watched it for a long moment.As a result,I did
nothing in the morning except chatting with my dear lao
shi and chang aun.I cant express my happiness.It's not the
first time I saw snow but I'm still excited like a small
child =).I wanted so much to go out and play but there was
no one to play with me...I miss the time at Tours when we
made the snow-man together and threw the snow balls...
Here are some photos of the day^ ^


*white white...*


*Children were playing ...*


*On the way to tram station*



*The tram station*


*The campus*


*Me lor^ ^*



*Just nice!*



*Can you see the mountain at the background?*


*Near my house...*

一些生活点滴。。。

哈哈，傻傻的，早上醒来超想唱k的，可是这里没有redbox嘛。
结果就上了youtube，边看着MV边跟着唱，很好笑吧！最近
有好多歌想唱的，很喜欢lara的下雨天，很好听，有意思！
就这样边读书边唱的，还好屋主没在，不然她会以为我发生什
么事了吧。这样子心情就好好的，当然温习的速度就变慢啦，
我也没管那么多，反正我好久没这样了。。。简单的开心！

盼望假期的到来，还有四个星期，考试却一大堆，总共十二个！
好恐怖！我就把需要做的大小事列出来，好让我不忘记。这四
个星期该会忙透吧，只希望自己会不紧张，不压力的把每一件
事做好，这样就满足了咯。

对了，最近超爱逛街买东西的，荷包就快不能负荷了，哈哈！
但超开心的哩，一个小小的耳环就让我开心了老半天。
快圣诞节了，街上开始有了一些灯光摆设，好喜欢，好期待！

看了气象报告，这几天应该会下雪，我好想看雪白白的格勒。
去年雪来得很晚，而且只是一下子。所以这次希望可以久一点，
那我就能慢慢欣赏咯！

我想和自己做个承诺，在这四个星期里好好的读书，尽自己
的全力，我总觉得我还保留着那一点点。。。

好咯，希望你们每天都可以做一些自己喜欢的东西，心情会
变好的哦！

不知所措。。。

原来我怕了
我不想知道了
我只想和以前一样
简简单单的
一想到那不会是我
我心跌到谷底
也许
我该乐观点
但我还是控制不了
怎么办
我好想逃
错过的 永远回不来的

梦

昨夜梦到了他，竣中，我的堂哥。。。

在梦里，其实我忘了是否看到他的脸孔，只记得当我知道他的呼吸停止
的那一刻，我大喊，就快哭了。。。

不知道为什么会突然梦到他，他离开我们也快一年了。也许，潜意识里
依然有他的踪影，我还是有无法回去看他最后一面的遗憾。。。

那天暑假回家，终于看到他了，不过是去他的灵位那里。那时真的有点
不知所措，百感交集，最后跪在灵位前说了想对他说的话，眼泪还是掉
了下来。。。伯母也是泪流满眶，她说佩欣来看你了。我更想哭了。。。
至少那天去超度，把我们的祝福都送给他了，我想我能做的就只是这样。

堂哥，你永远都会在我们的心里的。。。

Choices...

Every day or even every minute we choose.

It can be a big decision or a tiny decision.

Yesterday,I had to choose between black and grey jacket.
At last I chose grey.Why?It caught my attention at first.
I took at least 30minutes to choose only that...T.T
I hope that I will get used to that colour.French wear
black generally.Classic...

There are two offers for my interships.The first one's in
Lyon.I received the call last thursday and I was really
happy at the moment.At last my 'work' paid.I was panicked
when I talked to the secretary.I didnt what to ask or what
to say...I managed to know that I would work in production
of electrodes.Then I kept thinking about the accomodation
and everything related to it.At the end of the day,I decided
to call other companies to know their answers.
Friday,I called Mega-Joupi.It's a toy's shop so I didn't
put a lot of hope in it.When the person in charge said it
might be possible to do my intership there,I was stunned.
He laughed and asked me to ask for further informations
from my professor.I did it and my professor said I can do
my internship as long as I do the 'rayonnage'(arrange the
toys at shelves).It sounds interesting isn't it?Due to the
fact that I'm not good in taking a decision,I asked for his
opinion.He said by working in the toy shopI would learn
more about the organisation in the company,the logistic
and the social relations in the hierachy.On the other hand,
working in the production of electrodes would help me to
know whether I'm really interested in chemistry or not.

So here I am,in the dilemma.I dont know which one should
I go for.If I didnt call Mega-Joupi,I would sure go for
the internship in Lyon.This is life hein...When we have
nothing we complain.When we have the choice,we struggle.
I want to make this decision by the end of this week.I
really have to because it affects my mind.Yes yes,I think
a lot.I asked lots of opinions from others but I know at
the end I have to choose it MYSELF.Maybe I should just
follow my heart,it's just a small internship of six
weeks after all...

I really hope that I can make decision without any hesitation.
However,being a Libran,I care too much about the avantages
and disadvantages of something...It's tiring...

No matter what I choose,there will be no harm.Just wish
me luck for doing it...Sometimes,I just need a little
courage^ ^

*kok seong,here is the photo of IKEA.haha^ ^*



*This was taken inside the cafeteria.Nice food o =)*

回到正常生活咯！

哈哈！玩够了，休息够了！要读书了！！！
只是想要提醒自己^ ^
朋友们，要拼了！
加油，加油！

photos...

*雪在山顶，白白的，去年的喜悦回来了。。。*

夜。思绪

天气冷冷的，是否心也变得和它一样
不希望它是，可是事实却是如此。。。

不知从何时起，信心已不在，不再相信
有好多的疑问，却解答不了
不再勇敢，反而学会了逃避

有好多次，知道不该钻进去的
但还是飞蛾扑火，受伤了才知道痛
不好受却忍下了 慢慢的
变成了坚强

曾经尝试以平常心面对 那一点都不容易
一看到他 心就动摇了
答应自己的 完全被抛到脑后

*我 跨出了那一步 不知道下一步会是我期待的吗*

days in lyon...

Again,I decided suddenly to go to lyon for the weekend. So I asked wenshao whether I could go and disturb him ^ ^ At last I came back home,cleaned my house,packed my beg and went to train station.After one and half hour,I reached lyon. Holiday started...We watched grey's anatomy,long time I have not watched it.Due to the suspense of the drama,we watched it until 12.30am.Not really late actually but we were tired. I had a good sleep that night...I'm getting used to the bed.

Saturday was full of plans.After taking a shower,we went out to buy food at asiatic shop.Their two french guys bought lots of instant mee,they even suggested one nice instant mee to me. Finally we went out from the shop with lots of plastic begs. Then we ate at one vietnamese restaurant.I ordered the basil thai chicken.It was not bad.With mah as company,we went to part dieu.I wanted to shop but I dint buy anything.For dinner, mah volunteered to cook it.After having it,we went to the fête foraine(fun fair) at croix russe.There were not much people and we were not really interested in playing the games. Wenshao treated us the churros.The last time I ate it was a year ago.Mah left to train station to fetch Edwin while I and wenshao went walking at hotel de ville.It was cold but I ate Häagen-Dazs ice-cream.Crazy me:p Nice chocolat ice-cream... While we were seating on the bench,we met xin zhu and ping tarng.They went shopping and were on their way home.What a coincidence!So we went together to goh's house to play cards and monopoly.We went home at 2.30am...tired

Sunday was a quiet but nice day.We tried to wake up late but we were disturbed by people.For breakfast,we had a nice 'lao mian' while watching grey's anatomy.Then we wasted time by doing 'I-forgot-what'.Wenshao prepared the lunch.We had chicken marinated with 'kunyit'(a special dish) and delicious 'xiao bai cai'.Yeah!We spent the afternoon by watching drama and the movie'Hancock'.It was funny.At night,we had steamboat 'ma la huo guo'.It was spicy but 'shuang'!Thanks for the idea of xinzhu and ping tarng.I love to eat steamboat with people... We played cards again but went home earlier.I enjoyed the last night before leaving lyon to come back studying =(

This morning I woke up lazily.I had a phone call with shobana. Then I laid back on the bed and went to take my shower.Wenshao asked me whether want to eat bihun or rice.I chose bihun^ ^ It was a delicious fried bihun.I like it so much.I forgot how many bowls I ate.Thanks to wenshao!He sent me to train station in the rainy day.I reached home at 3.00pm.I spent the rest of the day by 'lazy-ing'...Suddenlt I got one message from xinzhu. She asked me to go to restaurant in lyon.She dint know that I came back here.I'm touched.Thanks xinzhu for thinking of me^ ^ Well,I must get things done during this holiday!!!motivation?!
*present from jennifer*

The seventh day最美丽的第七天。。。

Due to emotional problem,I decided to watch drama to make
myself feel better...After surfing for a long time,I chose
to watch the seventh day,a hong kong drama.Actually I had
watched the first episode at ws's place two weeks ago and
I did like it.I was attracted by 'the seventh day'.I
wondered what does it mean.'seventh' is the day of birthday
of two guys in the drama.They are born on the same day but
they have different destiny.It was funny at the beginning,
boring at the middle and sad at the ending.I like the dog,
Jack in the story.It seems like understand what human says
and react in its way.I wish I have a dog like that^ ^
I realise that I start to love hong kong's drama...

----------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday I went to IKEA with a friend.It's said that it's
the biggest in Europe.How can I miss that?!We ate at the
cafeteria.The food was nice and not expensive.Moreover,we
have a nice view from the cafeteria.Mountains and hills...
Well,it does look big from outside but for me,it's smaller
than that one in malaysia=).I saw lots of star's decoration
and I love them.But I dint buy it.I need to control ma..
We talked and studied a bit of chemistry(exam on thursday).
I finished my evening by watching the drama.
-----------------------------------------------------------

I have stopped myself from thinking much.My internship is not
yet sure although I have to send the 'fiche de stage' friday.
Should I wait?My professor told me not to worry,he would find
one for me...Holiday falls on 24 but I still don't have any
plan.Shoba asked me to go to her place but I don't feel like
sitting in the train for 8-9hours.So I might stay around here
for this holiday.Perhaps,I don't like to have plan.I want to
feel free,do whatever I feel want to do^ ^
I always consider sunday as the last day of the week->seventh
day.I hope that today will end as a beautiful day too...

p/s:huan zhu,I'm really happy for you!Thanks for sharing.
Good luck for your coming exams!!!

Just dont feel right...

Something is affecting my mind but I dont know what...
Do I have the feeling of not doing well in exam this
morning?probably...I was panicked 30minutes before the
end and I did some mistakes...

However,I should be happy because I received a present
from Jennifer today.Something unexpected.A wall decoration.
I didnt manage to buy it last time because there was no
in blue colour.She remembered about that and she gave me
as my birthday present.I'm touched,really...
Merci jennifer^ ^Je t'apprécie aussi!

Dont feel like sleeping.Dont feel like going to class
tomorrow neither...want to 'lan shan'...

long long day!

I woke up at 7am this morning to finish my DM de maths.
Pity..I had class only at 10.30am...But then,I want to
be a good student ma...haha...
The communication class was interesting.We had an outdoor
activity for one hour.We shouted and did some ridiculous
gestures.A few passers-by looked at us strangely.Then,we
had to react according to the music.The last music was
melancholic.I was going to cry...
Optic class was boring but I tried to concentrate.TD maths
was ok.Then,enfin,the weekend started.Ouf!I and Jalila
planned to go for a movie"entre les murs".It's the movie
that wont the 'palme d'or' at Cannes.Before that,we went
to eat at Macdo.My dessert was sundae de citron.Yummee!
Huh,the movie was nice but a bit long.2 hours!Enjoyed it.
After saying goodbye to Jalila,I headed to go back.There
was 20mins wait.So I decided (bravely) to walk back home.
Actually I thought want to break my own record.I did walk
back before but not at night...I was a little afraid.At
last,I reached safely.20 minutes!!!yeah!!!My mum will
scold me if she knows..cant let her know :p
long long day...but a good one...tiring,cant sleep directly!
Good night^ ^

21st birthday 04/10/2008...

I had a great birthday,simple but touching!
Thanks for all the wishes whether by sms,call...
Thanks to those in Lyon:wenshao,mah,ping tarng,xin zhu,
weepin,david and goh.

Friday,Jalila gave me my present during the break.It's a
watch..she knows that I got no more watch.Then,on the way
to the train station,gkai called.He wished me happy birthday.
Then there were kelmynn,ang and sherlyn.hen re nao...happy!
Midnight,wenshao and mah wished.Hardly slept that night.Too
happy?Or too sad because I'm getting old?..haha.Actually I
think it's because of that not-nice pillow.

Saturday morning,I took a long bath.haha..pity the guys who
had to wait.After settling their things,we went to meet goh.
On the way to buy my birthday cake,my right-side shoe suddenly
tore.so paise...goh's idea was using the plaster but then they
went to buy super glu.I applied the glu and I could walk in a
normal way after that.Haha...an embarrassing thing became a
funny thing.Had lunch at subway,my first time in France.After
buying some things at carrefour,we went back to goh's place.
Wenshao slept while I rested.Soon,we started to prepare the
dinner.Grill chicken and mix vegetable with tomyam taste.I did
the dessert:mousse chocolat(thought of doing cake,but no tray)
Once everyone reached,we started to eat.Had some talks.Then
it was time to eat my birthday cake.Wenshao chose de:a cake
made of mandarin(it tastes nice!).They sang birthday song for
me and I made wishes.I felt great when I blew the candles...
Surprise---wenshao brought me a present.I never thought of it.
Touched...it is a hippopotamus...I like soft toy^ ^thanks
everyone!Then we played tarot card.First time I played it but
still ok ler..At last at 1am,everyone was tired.Time to go back.
After taking my bath,I felt fresh.So,I talked with ws.He was
with his intendo.He asked me to play mario kart.I'm dumb in
games,so I crashed the barriers and jumped down the river lots
of time.He couldnt stop laughing.me too.shy shy..We kept playing
until 4a.m.Huh,we played and talked without realising it was
late..That night I had a good sleep with doggie and my hypo.


Sunday,I went to parc de la tete d'or after brunch(kurma and a
tasty soup^ ^).I talked a lot with xinzhu...not only gossips o.
Went for a round in casino then walked through the park.Later,
we had some icecream and french fries.No chance,my icecream
dropped after some licks.I shouldnt have eated that because I
had cough.hehe...Then,I said goodbye to them and went back to
ws's place.I just talked to him a little because I didnt want
to disturb him.Yeah!He cooked dinner...fried rice.A nutritional
one o..everything was inside.He nearly caused me to be late for
the train again..ok ok,it's not your fault,tram's fault..haha
I should have dragged you inside the tram with me...u owe me!
I reached my home at 11pm.Tiring journey..Went to bed directly.

*sheng ri kuai le...*

Can't wait for the weekend...

haha...tomorrow is friday and I have 6hours of class.But I
cant wait for the weekend!haha...no need to stay at home^ ^

Yesterday night I had a nice chat with my sister,Rachel.I
miss her so much.She's growing up.Be strong ya,my sister.You
must live your life ya,promise me!You can de!The puppies at
home grow fast but two of them are dead.So,others must live
strongly and healthily o!

Today,we received an email from a friend in Prague.Shobana
and I are so happy...It's really a surprise.

Life is full of surprises.Who knows?Maybe there is another
one tomorrow?haha...

*stars...stars*

J'ai mon stage!!!thanks SIMAH

After sending 19 letters,I received a positive response today.
I had hesitated before I opened the letter because I was scared
that I would be disappointed again.But then I told myself that
I should be positive.And there,I was smiling at the letter^ ^
thanks SIMAH

SIMAH is a company which manufactures the products for 'toilette'
and dermatological product like perfumes,cosmetic etc...I still
remember that I sent that letter on 3 September and I called the
company one week after.I'm interested in this company and I was
eager to get an intership there.I got it at last!

Last week,I felt like giving up already and asked my professor for
help.Now I got it after 3weeks time.I'm happy because I got my
internship myself,the first in France.At least for now,one problem
is resolved.However,I still dont know what will be my job and I'm
not sure where am I going.I sent my letter to Bordeaux but it
seems that this letter was sent by the company from Meyssac.
well,maybe I just cant stay in bordeaux with shoba.Things aren't
perfect,I should be grateful.There might be also a possibilty that
I go to Toulouse for thème bio,so maybe I cant do this stage...
Let things go the way it should.I shouldn't worry so much...

So now the concentration should be put on the studies and the
choices of thèmes!September is going to end,and october is coming!

*Good luck to myself*

~a photo that I love,so as san ee^ ^*

27 September...

Today is saturday,just like any day in 365 days...
Everyday things happen,good or bad things.Memories are there.
It has been three months since huan zhu went to NZ.She told
me that today is one year since jun hao left.Yes,I remember
him.Chun chong left eight months already...Suddenly,all those
memories popped up.It's rather sad to think about this again.
......

A saturday that I spend for myself alone.Listen to myself,do
what I want.Maybe because I'm sick,I'm a bit down...But I do
enjoy being like this.I cooked a soup of chinese cabbage,mint,
prawns,chicken and carrot.Then I ate mee soup while watching
to drama...again.I cant deny that drama is part of my life.I
watch it whenever I feel down.It cheers me up.I know that those
dont really exist in real life but I smile when see people
happy.Anyway,I did maths homeworks too.I cant say that second
year is difficult because I know that I have not put a lot
of effort in it.But I try...Maybe I'm just worrying about the
internship and the pre-major that I should choose by november.
That's why I am in a state of uncertainty.Je me pose trop de
questions...

I realise that nice food make one feel good too.I'm not a good
good cook but I enjoy doing it.Especially when I cook something
that has my mum's taste.It helps to have the feeling at home.

Take good care of yourself o,my family and friends.I love you!
*An emotional blog*

surprise!surprise...

二姐,xiao dog生孩子了...That was the first sentence my sister
said when I called home yesterday.I was surprised because I
dint know that xiao dog was pregnant.She gave birth to TEN
little puppies!!wah,a great mum she is!Everyone was excited
at home.It's the first time they saw this thing.I missed it
...Bravo,xiao dog(I called her chubby!)Take good care of your
little doggies o!

My elder sister was rewarded'guru cemerlang'(excellent teacher?!).
She told me that her lecturer proposed her name and they took a
video of her teaching last sunday.She was nervous and she did
prepare for it.And her works paid!Congratulations sister!However,
she was not that happy.She was scared that she might get
transferred to far far away.I asked her not to worry so much as
it wont help.Anyway,I'm sure you will be a great teacher,sister.
Enjoy your coming holidays ya^ ^

Well,how about me?I'm going to be sick.I caught the cold and I
cough a lot since last week.Hope it won't get worse as I'll
have my first DS of maths this thursday.Wish me luck^ ^

crazy thing I did!!!

Yesterday afternoon,I went to grand place after lunch.
And I got these...crazy!!!I have never bought these much in one day.
Well,maybe in malaysia but not here.There was sales but still...
moral story: Don't go shopping when one is stressed!
Mum will faint if she sees this...I'll never do this again...

Mid autumn festival...

Last saturday,I decided to go to lyon to spend my weekend...
After talking to my mum for two hours(record!),I started to
prepare.I simply took some clothes and put in my handbeg.I dint
feel like bringing too much things,just wanted to be relax.
So I got in the train and sms wenshao telling him that I would
reach there in one and a half hour.Not much surprise for him
because I already asked him the day before.It was raining
dizzily.I had a nap in the comfortable rainy atmosphere...

So I reached there.I took the tram and went to croix luizet.
Mah was waiting for me and he brought me to meet wenshao.I
met some of their friends.I recognised some of them.Later,
we went to eat lunch at mah's place.Tomyam bihun-thanks mah!
Wenshao's place was the next destination.A pretty new room.
He said that he would keep his room tidy.haha...We stayed
there and kept talking till around 7pm.Then we went out for
their INSA intégration thing.Well,I'm not from INSA but I
could feel the warm atmosphere in there.Almost all the first
year students wore like a robinhood since it was the theme.
It rained.My shoes and clothes got wet although I took my
umbrella with me.The sight of umbrella in the street was
romantic.For dinner,we went to mah's place again.He cooked
specially for me because I didnt want to eat kebab.After
that,we returned to the hall and spent time together in
someone's room.We played game of remembering people's name.
haha...asian's name is difficult for french...
Had a good sleep with the view of Fourvrière at night...

Sunday morning was 中秋节(mid autumn or mooncake festival).
It was the normal day like others but at least there was
no rain.Had a nice morning talk with ws.After taking a bath,
I followed him for the program of the day.I felt a little
bored but his friends are nice.They talked to me.I managed
to talk with some vietnamese.Nevertheless,I was happy to
participate in their integration.It was different from my
école.I really had fun in spite of the pretty cold and windy
weather.Thanks for ws's jacket.After all the games,I think
I had made a tour of INSA Lyon.haha...Then we went back to
eat mooncake,of course!好吃的月饼哦!过后又吃了肉干！想家了啦！
Dinner at mah's place again!Ws cooked soup this time and I
cooked rice.I planned to go home earlier de,ws's fault!aha.
Before getting into the train,I got to watch the full moon.
外国的月亮不是特别圆，只是每逢佳节倍思亲。。。
月亮圆，月亮圆，月亮照在我的家。。。突然好想提灯笼哦今年。。。

*Autumn came earlier this year.It's cold and windy.*

A special day...

According to lunar calendar,today is my birthday...
I received lots of wishes from my sisters and parents.
'sheng ri kuai le' are the words...
I am happy and touched actually...

Since we are young,we are used to celebrate our birthday
together.So every year we have a least 8times of celebration.
Sometimes,there are father's and mother's day.We complained
about having too much of cakes every year.However,since
2005,I never celebrated with them.Four birthdays went
without them.How I miss them...my sisters...

So I am 21 already,or 22 according to lunar calendar.
But I prefer 21...hehe.My mum said I got a big present from
dad.It is-->my dad's promotion.happy for him^ ^
I still remember the day before the interview.I saw him
preparing the shirt,tie etc...Dad,sorry for being harsh
to you that day.Please forgive me...

Here are my two bao bei.I consider them as my birthday's
presents lor..thanks ya...I love them!


And I love Grenoble too!I wont forget the veiw in the early
morning here.It's just incredible!


Time to go...

*xiao xing*

La rentrée

After 3days of class,one word:tired!
I already have 5modules now:math,chimie,bio,propagation and
electronics.I really cant imagine what will I have in another
week.People always say that second year is easier but now I
dont think so.Well,I guess I am complaining because I dont use
my brain to study for 2.5months.I felt that I was stupid in the
class.I forgot lots of things already.I have to find back all
the 'memories'.

Stop complaining,Pei Xin.Go and study!However,I like to be in
class.I feel that I am alive.I like my current study life^ ^
So,I must try my best...Jia you!!!

I'm still alive!

Well,it has been one month since I last updated my blog.
It's because the connection in malaysia is slow and the
keyboard of my laptop broke down...sob sob...
Kuaci asked me to update too...haha.So here u are-->


This year I had the longest summmer break since 3years.
I dint go to a lot of places but I stayed with my family
for most of the time.I really had my holidays.I ate a lot,
talked a lot,went to lots of shopping malls(did lots of
shopping too..haha),went to redbox 3times,etc...
I love Penang...it's really a beautiful city!
I will have to wait for next year summer lor^ ^





Today is the fisrt day of class in 2008-2009.I still
stay in the same group like last year but we are 72 this
year.Some left themselves while some dint pass their year.
One word for today:tiring!I dint touch my books for three
months.I deserve it,I have to revise all that I had for
last year.I was questioned by professor today and I dint
even know how to answer it.so paise...
And no more holidays!!!Homeworks come!!!

Tasks in these few monts:
-search for stage for Jan
I just sent 5letters today.It's not easy to choose the
companies among all the choices.
-decide thème of second semester
I thought about it.I think I will choose between chemistry
and biology but I have to think about which grandes écoles
too.God bless me,hope that I can make a good choice for me.

Courage for friends who are going to have their classes.
Enjoy the last few days in malaysia oh,kuaci and wenshao!

988 712 live concert +10 days of holidays +St Anne festival

It started on 13 July and ended on 23 July. But I would like to
write something about the live concert first. I got some tickets
from friend and went to autocity with my family. At the beginning,
I didn’t feel excited at all. Maybe I am getting old.haha..I was
waiting for guang liang’s performance and at last I saw it. I was
happy. It has been ages I haven’t watched his live performance and
still I love it.
Yoga was the most welcomed ( I can say) singer that day. He sings really well and now I start to love his song. It was quite a ‘memorable’ day because it rained and I was standing on a ladder lying on a tree for almost the whole night to watch the concert. ^ ^

Besides, 712 is a significant day for me. I think I would never forget it.

On 13th morning, of course I was damn lazy to wake up. But I had to get up to prepare because my bus was at 9.30 am. Surprisingly, I met lee ting in the bus. An old friend. Parit Buntar-KL journey takes 5 hours. I prepared my books and mp3 as I knew it would be boring. At last, I reached pudu bus station. I went to meet lao shi directly. aha..another surprise: there was someone else in the car.
We went to the curve to meet gkai there. We had lunch (or dinner)and we had pretty much of not-so-serious talks. Then, we said goodbye to lao shi at the entrance of midvalley. Gkai wanted to find a jacket. Last year, we met there too and he helped me to carry my bag. At last, we found the jacket and it suited him. He was happy.At night, I went to yan qi’s house. She has a myvi now, so it’s easier.Also, she cooks now. haha, people do change…

The next day, I woke up with one desire: sing k!!! Man man drove me and esther to low yat’s red box. We sang from 12 to 3pm. Wah, so exciting. I did enjoy it after so long. It was fun to sing with them.
I hoped that a jui was there too. After that, we went shopping at
Sungai Wang. I bought a baby-milo t-shirt because I found the two
bears cute. As man man got class afterwards, she dropped me at jalan imbi monorail station and left. My next destination was Serdang. Ktm again! When I reached at Yau’s grandma house, I was
already exhausted. At about 11pm, Shein came with Kailun and we went yam cha. We laughed a lot. I met Rochelle, Shein’s French friend. A tiring day..

On 15th early morning, we went to see the aunties dancing at the garden. After a good breakfast, we took bus to puduraya and we headed to Malacca. It was a rainy day. Everyone got some sleep in the bus. Azizi fetched us at Melaka sentral. He was our driver for the whole day. We didn’t do much things that day. At night, we went walking around our three stars hotel.

The next morning, we woke up early too. One happy thing was I went to eat chicken rice ball with Yau. One funny thing was I fell down on the roadside. The road was slipperyThen, we went to taman mini Malaysia at Ayer Keroh. It was a bit far from the town. Rochelle was somehow impressed by the uniqueness of the kampong in Malaysia. I was glad that she was. That night, I was extremely happy to meet san ee. She and her friend brought me to eat satay celup and tandoori chicken. We talked a lot and I missed the time we had together last time.

Thursday morning, I had teow chew porridge for breakfast. We took the bus back to pudu and then the lrt to terminal putra. Guess where were we going? Batu Caves!!! Haha, for what??? So that the Rochelle can get the picture of Indians in Malaysia.272 of paces we took, and we reached at temple. Then we left to genting with bus and skyway. For dinner, we had RM 57 buffet but we didn’t pay for it. Kailun’s dad paid that with his points of genting world card. The laksa was really nice^ ^. I tried to enter the casino two times but I was required to go out because I am still under-aged. I don’t know it’s a good or bad thing.

Friday was a cloudy day and was full with mist. However we bought the ticket and we went to the outdoor park to play the games which was opened for us. After lunch, we went to watch the Genting International ‘wu shi’ competition. It was exhilarating. First time I watched it. I felt worried when there were some candidates who fell down. J’ai croisé mes doigts pour eux. Indoor games were nice too.
I met Khee Jim there. Another surprise. The night in genting ended with shopping. Yau accompanied and I was the one who bought something.

We went down from genting Saturday morning and it was time to say goodbye to my trip with Shein, Rochelle, Kailun, Yau and Sin Wui. Zhiling came to fetch me at Petaling station. It has been two years I dint see her. We spent time at sunway pyramid that day. Pity her, she accompanied me to lots of shoes shops and I ended buying only one pair of shoes.

For the rest of my holidays, I spent it at my uncle’s house. Monday I managed to go to a small gathering with my friends. They were man man,koko,a pek,shi yin,esther,khee jim and thiam him.I was really happy to meet them. I went to the new shopping malls like ‘The Gardens’ and ‘Pavilion’. I got to eat the doughnuts that gkai said nice. Thanks to the warm treat and delicious dinners at home.

It was St Anne’s festival and so I went for it. I met Shoba there too.
Her mum made chapatti for me. So happy to eat them. We had a good chat after so long. Hope to see her again before going back.

Wow, a long blog. This is how when I write it for 10 days.
Huhu, at last I finish it.
I still prefer a relaxing holiday than visiting the places…

My cat...

I got this cat more than a year ago.

Well, this is not a particular cat or what…but I just
like it at first sight.

Two days ago, I saw it at one shop in Pacific shopping
center. It was a surprise for me although I know that it
can be found at most of the toy shop.

Since mao mao gets ‘thinner’(kuaci said it’s because of
my weight =_=)and mao mao is not that chubby anymore, I
always think that I may wantto buy a new one once I see
it. But I change my mind. I just want to have mao mao.
The feeling won’t be the same if I buy a new one. Perhaps
one day I will get my cat a partner but not now.

Wahaha, it seems that my cat is alive…well, it is for me.
I always talk to mao mao ^ ^

Well,I pass too...

Actually,I received one letter from my university three days ago.

It was my result slip and...I PASS the first year!!!

It's stated there 'admis(e)'...

Well,my average drops a bit compared to the first semester but I'm
satisfied with myself..Yeah!

Now,I will have to think about my precialisation,biology?chemistry?

......

It seems that I wont think much about it..haha..

Congratulations to friends that pass their year^ ^

安顺一游

妹妹要代表理大去安顺参加佛曲歌唱比赛，我好不犹豫地答应随她去。
虽然我不是理大生，但他们还是答应让我去，真的很感激他们哦！

星期五妈妈送我去巴士站，好久没坐巴士去北海了，好奇怪。。。
到了那里，等妹妹咯！然后就和大伙儿一起搭巴士去安顺咯。。
好累啊，整个旅程是四个小时，以看书和听歌度过了。。
下车的感觉真好，妹妹的学长就带我们去看那里著名的大钟楼。
到底有什么特别的呢，其实是那大钟楼稍微倾斜了一点点。
那里蛮热闹的，有几个小贩的档口，还有一些人在打发时间。
过后，就有人来载我们去吃东西，吃那里著名的猪肠粉。
好特别的哦，不像槟城的猪肠粉，主要的材料是虾米。
接着，我们去了俊杰家冲凉然后再到国祥家住宿。
第一晚睡得好好的，是太累了吧！

第二天，我们一早醒来，去吃早餐咯！那里的云吞面真的很大碗呀！
然后，回家听两组人唱歌练习。妹妹和贝雯唱网起的缘，另一组则
常如莲的喜悦。看着她们练习，我也跟着唱起来，两首歌都好好听！
中午便到佛教会去彩排，大专组有四组，中学组则有十组。
好不容易等到大专组的彩排完毕，终于可以去吃午餐了，好饿哦！
回去佛教会后，我们都小睡了一会儿，真的好累嘛。
起来后，准备一下子后就下去礼堂，等待人们的到来，比赛的开始。
倾听菩提音就是佛曲比赛的名字，今年已是第三届了哦！
比赛终于开始了，我耐心的听着每一首歌。尤其是轮到妹妹的时候，
我更是用心的听，还把它录了下来。原来佛曲也不输流行曲哦。
晚上大约十一点，比赛终于结束了，妹妹和她朋友拿了第三名。
好开心的。。。去吃宵夜才回去。

第三天早上吃了早餐后，我们就开始参观安顺的旅游景点。。。
先到了安顺大钟楼，然后到一个又弥乐佛像的庙。其实也没什么地方
可以去的，我们去吃了那里著名的rojak。味道挺特别的，没槟城的
浓，而且还有虾饼和一些菜，我还蛮喜欢的哩！
两点就搭巴士会北海了，安顺的旅程就结束了。。。

真的好谢谢你们哦，希望有机会可以再遇见你们。。。
真心的祝福你们每一位哦！

惊喜。。。

昨晚，我有了个’惊喜‘，暂时还不能说是什么，但我很感动也很开心。。。

只是现在的我还无法作任何决定，我需要时间想想，请给我时间。

刚刚剪了个头发，也把头发烫卷了，感觉还不错呢！其实我还没什么排斥卷发，
换发型的感觉真好。等我习惯了现在的发型才把照片放上来吧！哈哈。。。

driving..haha

Miracle..my mum let me to drive this morning..wahaha
My younger sister,rachel drove to my grandma house and
I drove back.It has been three years that I dint drive car.
Surprisingly I still know how to drive,I was said to drive
better than rachel..
So what is the feeling?I dint feel afraid at all,I can
say that I drive steadily than before.Maybe I really
grow up lor,I am no longer the 'me' before...
I am happy today...hope today will be a good day^ ^

供养师父

昨天是我第一次去供养师父呢！妹妹叫我去的哦！
早上六点就起床咯，妹妹就问我可以炒面吗，我糊里糊涂地答应了。
哈哈，竟然炒了一盘不怎么样的面，一点失望，不过还是拿去了。
俊贤来载我和妹妹，一路上还好有妹妹陪他说话，不让他可要闷透了。
到了八眼色海的佛教会，那里静静的，我们是最早到的哩。。。
和妹妹去礼佛，好丢脸哦，礼佛的方式都不对了，她改正我咯。
然后，我们就去帮助阿姨们准备东西，她们很亲切的。
但是，我还是安静的，不多话，我不是很人是他们的，感觉怪怪的。
不过，他们都很好的,还找话题和我说话，不好意思哦，太久没见到你们了。
学到了东西，当师父坐在餐桌时，要跪着供养。供养食物后，就不能用手去
碰了，因为会有把事物拿回的意思。谢咯，朋友们！
下午和家人去吉打，见了姐姐，然后去大山脚送妹妹去三姨家和外婆家。
冲了凉，马上又出去了，要去赴约咯。上次放了俊贤飞机，这次不敢了。
外面还下着雨呢，但我还是坐上他的车，去new town咖啡厅。
喝着peach tea，我们开始聊天咯。终于可以开心地和他聊天。
他没什么改变，只是多了一点点的成熟感。。哈哈，他说他胖了哦！
他说我还是一样呢，只是头发长了点。他却说我早上水肿，啊！！！
舒服的过了一个晚上，开心地笑了。还回去看了学校，勾起了好多回忆。
谢咯，整晚只是他在讲故事，我是聆听者。下次轮到我来讲哦！

*栩睿，希望你在wellington过得好好的，相信自己，你可以的。

'holiday'...

So what did I do since I was back here in Malaysia?
- went to many hospitals but I am relieved that dad
got nothing serious
- ate a lot of food:laksa,nasi lemak,mee jawa,wantan mee,
ais kacang,chicken rice....my stomach is going to burst
- met a lot of friends:gkai,ang,koko,mimi,teh peng,sotong,
meng wai,e cheang,a lay,chin fern,a pek,and the special
huan zhu(u see,I got heart de o..ha ha)
- watch tv,I watch any show on tv..
- read death note,still got 2 series.
- talk with sisters,I feel that they are really funny
when they argue,they cant never stop..cute sisters I have
- drove motor since last year but not car..sob sob
- do some housework,of course lor

Hmm,these are my past-time but I feel so useless..
I seriously want to find a job but who wants to employ me?
What job should I do?Got any voluntary job?............
anyway,it's relaxing...this is how holiday should be...
maybe I am just grumbling..after some time should be ok..
shoba,I know you are coming back..cant wait to see u^ ^

*xiao xing*-wasting her time...

p/s:I love you

This is the title of the book that I recently read.
The story is about a husband who leaves his wife and he leaves
one list for her telling her what to do when he is not there.
The wife is shocked and yet happy to receive the list and
follow what is she supposed to do every month.At the end,when
there's no more message,she decides to live her life once again.
A quite touched story,I feel like being in her situation,except
that guy who left me is still alife.It's never easy to forget
the memories but one has to live,has to look forward.

I met some friends these days.I still comfortable with ang,a chi
and a pek.The way they speak is just the same.Thanks to you guys.
Also,I met my grandma,auntie,uncle and some relatives.My aunt is
just sad to tell me that chun chong's no longer here,I know...

Yesterday is father's day and we got a small celebration.My dad
was happy.It has been 3years I didnt get chance to celebrate this
special day.



My sisters grow up too fast but they are still warm for me.I'm
sorry because I cant accompany you all to grow up.Hope you can
find your ways...

p/s:it's damn hot here,struggling with it...3 showers per day:p

Paris-Kuala Lumpur-Nibong Tebal

At last,I'm back home..

Reached Paris on 8June afternoon though there was strike.
I accompanied fahmi to go to wash his clothes and then we sat
in a garden nearby.There were lots of children and parents.
We tried to find for something to eat.He ate one crepe while
I ate one lemon flavoured icecream.Pity him,he waited me for
lunch...At night,we went to eat sushi.This time,I didnt feel
like vomitting..hehe

The next morning,I went to see kim hwa.Spent one hour to go
there.Tired..Went to the disneyland parc and Val d'Europe,
the largest shopping center in France.Khoo showed me a temple
in Paris but it was closed.Then we met fahmi for dinner.He
bought lots of begs for his sisters.

The day before flight,there was strike too.We ate tomyam for
breakfast.Then I helped him to tidy up his house.I always do
that.We went out with bus and reached La Defense.After looking
at all the restorants,we ate at one mee restorant.He ate
singapore noodles while I ate thai noodles.We went shopping
for presents to bring back home.Having him as company helped
me to buy lots of things.After buying all the presents,we went
back.His landlord came to check his kitchen.He said 'ca brille'
(means it shines).Fahmi said it's me who did it.Wa,how proud I
was...Didnt really sleep that night...

The day of flight,we went out at seven to be sure that we would
reach on time.After a long journey(again),we reached the airport
at nine.wahaha..damn early..after checking in,we went window
shopping.Well,I bought a book and some mini perfumes.He bought
some mini perfumes and a magazine.So,we boarded the plane.Not
much people...Watched 3movies.I tried to sleep but in vain.I
think I slept for only 2hours altogether.

At last we reached KLIA.Fahmi was happy,I could see it from his
face.It has been two years since he went last time.His friend
waited for him and so they left.I was all alone and I went to
drink something.I asked for milo but she gave me capuccino.haha
I read my book to pass time.At nine,I went to check in and waited
in the boarding hall.I was damn tired...Reached penang at 12pm.
My parents and sister waited for me.They havent changed..
Happy to see them although I seemed too tired.Back home,I gave
them presents,hope they would like them.Sleep,eat and read..

Just now met gkai.He is the first friend I met here.Had some chat
with him.I have to do some cleaning today I guess.

Hope fahmi will spend some good time with his family...
Hope my family will in good health..

*xiao xing*-still feels tired..

Tours...memories back

Back to tours after 5 hours of journey from Lyon.
What a tiring trip...
Well,welcomed by yau,junior girl in Tours.

We went to the bowling center.I think this should be the
second time I played there..
Wa..all of the juniors came wor,included one senior fadhil
and fahmi.They played generally well.I dint play well because
I got gastric(lame excuse:p).Had lots of fun though..
thanks for fahmi's idea.
After that,we went to mangez-moi.Well,first time I ate there.
I opted to go back.Thanks to the juniors who took my begs.
I know they are heavy.hehe..

At night,I dint do much things.Talked with yau like we know
each other for ages...Then,I got headache because of the
stupid strikes..at last,I decided to go to paris earlier..
I managed to make a chocolat cake(gateau au chocolat aux amandes)
Yau said it's delicious.hehe..thanks you guys,hope I can stay
longer next time.sorry for not talking much to some of you...

-----------
Tours is still the same to me.Some news shops appeared but I still
like the feeling being there.Lots of memories came up while
walking down the streets.sweet,sad,happy...There are just some
people and some things you cant forget it forever.
Hope all the profesors there are in the pink of health..
-----------
So,here I am in Paris..Must take some rest now after the sushi..

*xiao xing*-wants to keep something in the bottom of her heart..

bye grenoble...

I still remember that day I came here from CDG.It rained badly
and there was storm.I was welcomed warmly by my landlord.
She is really a nice person,she treats me very well,like her
own daughter and I consider her as my mum here..

I'm leaving tomorrow.I guess it will be a cloudy day..Just
like nine months ago when I came here alone...
I cleaned my house thoroughly so that I will feel fresh when I
come back here in about 3months time.Spent much times with my
appart these few days.Feel calm and happpy..Like it here...

Tomorrow I will go to Tours,the place where I spent 2years...
Quite excited actually..hehe..first time meet all of the juniors
in Tours.I will meet jenifer too,after the tragedy...

Talked to shobana just now,hope the force will be with her till
the end of her exams.Good luck ya shoba,see u in malaysia..



p/s:This is for you,kuaci.That fountain that you would like to
see last time..aha^ ^.Bon courage to you too ya..


*xiao xing*-cant wait for tomorrow..

And so,it ends...

Finished my last exams today..
Verdict?
-Math-as usual,can get 10 gua.
-English-hope can get above 14.Expectation?
-Chimie cinétique-j'avais le blanc.I revised well but..
-Informatique-at least I managed to answer one problem..

What is my feeling?
Happy?Not really..a great relieve it is..
And semester 2007/2008 passes just like that..
This year is fulled of challenge,emotions,discovery...
I'm still a young person to this world..
I'm not strong enough when I face an obstacle..
I cry,I laugh...
Well,I still cant join the french friends circle..
I must really try to approach them and talk to them.
Maybe I am serious at their eyesight,people always say.
Stage(training)is next year but I have to start thinking now.
Thème bio ou pas?Stay in grenoble?What kind of stage?
Lots of questions turn around in my mind..
I'm tired,mentally..I need a rest,really...

After all,it's holiday.I'll fly back next wednesday.
Need to clean my house,settle some things,pack and
plan for my holiday...So,going to Tours?
Tours-memories of two years.There must be some changes now.
Have to decide it tomorrow...
Till then,good night...

*xiao xing*-want to feel free..

Encore 2 jours!!!

Two more days!!!
Four more exams:
-maths(still revising)
-english(revise it after maths)
-chemistry(must redo exercices)
-info(haven't touched it...god bless me =_=)

Today I mistook my youngest sister for another sister.
You grow up too fast,a ching...
Normally u dont want talk to me,at least you did this morning.
My headache went away after talking to you all.thanks ya..
I started to love Roland Garros.Dommage,I dont know how to play.
Good job this year for the french.

Ok,I must stop now.I need to continue my revision.
Certainly,I'm tired but I cant give up now.
I must try my best and put a good end to this year!
Bon courage to all my friends who are sitting for the exams!

*xiao xing*-overcome the stress!


p/s:my video reaches 100 views today.So,here is the photo of the night.
Thanks to zarf,the photographer^ ^

Quick update!

What I did lastly:
-Ate kebab with Jeen
Dont like it much because too oily
-Watched Indiana Jones with Jalila
Well,not bad.Jalila wanted to watch so I accompanied her.
-Did a revision sunday
Not much actually but satisfied..
-Formule 1
Influenced by fahmi and shoba,I like to watch it.
It's exciting.Shoba dont watch it anymore...

Schedule for the week:
-3 more TD de maths
-3 DS(exams)
-Exposé français
-...

Wish me luck ya.Hope the force will be with me^ ^


*xiao xing*-want to do her best for this week!!!

Le dilemme

Lâchez-moi
J'en ai assez
A cause de vous
Je dors mal
Je souris presque plus
ou pas sincèrement
Je perds ma direction
Je sais plus où j'en suis
Je sais plus quoi faire

Dites-moi
Je suis qui
Aidez moi
De devenir plus forte
Aimez moi
J'en ai besoin

Mais lâchez-moi
C'est peut-être le moment
Que pensez-vous?
Au moins
Montrez-moi
Mon demain...

Inspiration?

Saturday night,as usual the book is there but mind is somewhere
else.Thanks to shoba and kim hwa for calling me ya..
Shoba,I miss u gal..
Kim Hwa told me that there are another two persons from my
secondary school,SMJK Krian are coming to France..what a shock.

Yesterday night,Muz brought me and Jeen to KFC.Well,it's not
extraordinary but long time dint sit in the car..So we ate a
bucket'party' and a dessert.Then we sat there talking till
11pm.Then Muz wanted to send me home.But we got lost at first.
Ai,what a shame.At last,we reached my place.They came up to
drink tea.We talked till 2am in the morning.Muz said he couldnt
recognize fahmi that day.He said fahmi changes a lot.aha..He
even said fahmi dyed his hair..lol..natural hair..Then Muz said
he likes kuaci and kai in toulouse too.Kuaci is a bit 'blank'
and kai is'cool'..wahaha..Nice to talk to them.Jeen,you are a
brave girl..

Today morning woke up at 10am.Did things slowly.Talked to my
sister for a while.Sorry sis,I am still not in mood to think
about your presents but I will do it,ok?After lunch,I went to
Yves Rocher for a facial treatment(soins beauté).First time I
did it.It was nice even though it was a bit painful when she
pressed all my blackspots etc..ah..Went home.Rainy days...
Tried to study thermo but in vain..Something goes wrong in me.
C'est la dernière ligne droite,c'est ce que tout le monde dit.
There are nine exams,three TPs and two weeks of class.Not much.
I just need to tell myself study first then I will be free..
Motivation?inspiration?I need them.I want to do my best too
because it's the end of semester..Jia you a pei xin!!!

*Kevin,hope you can get well soon.Sorry I cant go to visit u.
Thanks for telling me,fahmi and hariri.Wish you all are happy
and healthy.Must take care always^ ^ *

~xiao xing~ must wake up with a smile tomorrow..

Ru guo ni hai ai wo ( if u still love me )

 here is the song that I sang in the gala night.I love this song.
The lyrics reflect my situation right now..
Almost everytime I listen to it,my tears drop..
Hope that you all would like it..can leave comments..thanks^ ^

如果你还爱我

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
I leave with a tired heart
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
I know that I am no longer important in your heart
虽然我们曾经相聚过
Although we were together
也许对于你来说
Maybe to you
已经没有什么值得回忆
There is nothing to recall
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
I leave with a heavy heart
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
I know I dont have the courage to say goodbye
虽然我们曾经拥有过
Although we had the moment together
但是对于你来说
But to you
已经没有什么值得回忆
There is nothing to recall
难道早以注定
It is possible that it's predestined
不能真正拥有你
That I cant have you
难道我真心付出一切
It is possible that I truly devote everything
只为了承受孤单和寂寞
Just to endure the loneliness and solitude
我知道你不敢对我坦白
I know that you dont dare to be frank to me
是不要看到我的伤怀
Because you dont want to see me sad
虽然你没有说要离开我
Although you never said that you would leave me
我已经感到你不再属于我
I already feel that you are no longer mine 
如果你还爱我
If you still love me
你不会对我如此的冷漠
You will never be so indifferent to me
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
Also you will never let me wander alone in this long long night
如果你还爱我
If you still love me
你不会对我如此的冷漠
You will never be so indifferent to me
我只能含着眼泪
I can only fill my eyes with tears
默默的离开
leave silently

Paris--gala

Sitting in the train,looking at people..
Yeah,the weather was nice,everyone enjoyed the 5days weekend..
Got a message from fahmi,I had to meet arif and bring him to
fahmi's house later.Continued reading my math in the train...
Got a message from arif,we would meet in St.Lazare later,ok..

Reached gare de lyon,the train station that I know so clearly..
Bought a ticket jeune,headed to St Lazare with métro 14.
Got a call from arif,he just reached gare de l'est.
While waiting at St Lazare,suddenly thought of something funny
which happened here not long ago..in a toilet..aha
After waiting for half an hour,I was worried.Maybe arif got lost??
Luckily,a while later,he appeared.I called him.Long time no see..
Got to train heading to Bécon les bruyères..
fahmi was a bit frustated,he needed to go out buying something..
Before the bécon station,we were told to meet him at La Défense.
Fine,we waited there for another transilien.Talked to arif..
Talked about studies,friends,holidays,etc..
At last,we reached La Défense.Saw fahmi in front of castorama.
He cut his hair,looks better(kuaci,u have the longest hair now!!)
He wanted to go to Jules so we waited there..damn hot!!
Finally,we reached his house.He bought a vest for the gala..
He started trying his vest with his shirt,showing off with his
sexy hair(he said it).I took some photos..He asked I and arif to
change too.As I was lazy,I refused.Arif said he would change if I
do...No no,I was hungry.I urged them to go for dinner.I was 
going to get gastric and he knew it.
Destination: restaurant malaysia.A senior,Azizi joined us.Of course,
we met malaysians there.I ate mee goreng ayam,fahmi ate mee
goreng lembu,arif nasi briyani kambing,azizi ate nasi lemak(he had
problems finishing it because the sambal was not that nice).
Four of us ordered for teh tarik.So long I dint drink that..
Arid wanted to see the eiffel tower at night..So there we went..
Trocadéro is just so far away from La chappelle..
But the night view was fabulous.Fahmi took videos.
How stupid I was,following the guys.As a result,I fell down while
trying to walk through the slope.Oh,my buttock was painful.
Stayed there for 10minutes and we headed back,scared there
were no more métros or transiliens.
Midnight--didnt get a good sleep,I needed my lovely bed..


The day---
Woke up early too.The sun shone.Fahmi went out buying
breakfast.Some baguettes and bananas.He wanted to do goreng
pisang.I was the one who washed the plate so that he could cook
it.We sipped the tea,ate goreng pisang.Watched japanese movie
'Nana'.Half way,they slept.Before the end of the story,fahmi woke
up,played guitar.Nice movie it was.A story of two girls named n
ana..After taking a bath,arif woke up.I wanted to go out for lunch.
It endedup that we went to La Défense without fahmi.He wanted
watchingformula 1.Had some chinese noodle.Then,we sat down
the grande arche.It was fun watching people there.The wind was
there.Back in fahmi's house,I started to make up.Aha.the guys
looked at me saying you not yet finish??
They dressed up too,looked smart wor..with theirs suits..
I reached the ship first.Saw Jeen.They were there since 4o'clock.
After putting on my dress,I welcomed people at the entry.One by
one,people came.Fahmi and arif couldnt get to the hotel because it
was too late.They were scared being left by the ship.Thanks for
bringing my beg(sorry menyusahkan).So,I saw her.That girl who
I would like to meet since 2 months ago.Mixed feelings I had..
At last,the ship moved with 100 persons on it.The gala started.
Short talk from Jeen,the organiser.We started having dinner.The
nasi lemak was damn spicy that most of us couldnt finish it.Poor
fahmi.He started to feel itchy again.He asked whether we got
other menu :p.We passed by statue de liberté,tour eiffel..There
was a cocktail.Got to talk to some seniors and juniors.Took some
photos.Enjoyed the wind.Before the gala ended,I was asked to
sing a song.I was so nervous that I dint move a lot.I clinged to
the microphone while singing.I enjoyed the moment.I was
searching for someone in my mind..A loud applause I received.
Apparently,it was not too bad.People greeted me as I passed by
their tables.I hope to see the video after this.Hehe...Then,I went
upstairs.Fahmi left already.Talked with arif.He said that I must
have practised singing a lot.Aha..
Bid goodbye to poeple and the ship,we went back to the hotel.
Tired,I washed up and slept.Thought of shobana.She cancelled
her place last minute.
*Sorry for the things that I did wrong and thanks for the poeple
who came for the gala,it was nice to see you all*

So here I am,in my small apartment.One month to go before going
back.Tomorrow I will have a math exam.Again..I revised but I
think it's not enough.After dinner,I must study somemore..Wish
me luck..
Hungry lor..dinner!!!

*xiao xing*-yao jia you!!Bu yao hu si luan xiang!

a not special day...

--public holiday--

woke up quite early..online and online..singing alone in my
appartment..finished the comments for tp info.what a relief!!
my landlord invited me to go to cycle..yeah!!!

It was a bit crazy cycling at 1.30pm but she got to work at 5pm.
She's too nice.I got the chance to use her new bike and she said
I can borrow the bike when I want.She showed me the garage to 
put the bike ...C'est parti!Wow,it's cool to take the bike after so long.
I felt happy^ ^.We took the road to go to the campus.The weather
was hot...Then we passed houille blanche.I had a strange sensation.
When I looked up,I saw zhi hui and max.I think they said hi to me.
But it was too fast.I wasnot sure.What a coïncidence..ahaha...

Reached the area of campus.It was quiet.We passed by ENSIEG,
a building where I have my class everyday.Today there were
interviews CPP.Well,I dont know how it is because I didnt have
an interview to enter CPP.The candidates must be very nervous.
Good luck for them.On the way back, I felt that my skin was
burning.When I watched at my hands, they were red..Oh ,I am 
going to be  'dark' again..After almost 2hours of cycling,I felt
 that buttocks were painful.Aha,it's a newbike after all.Thanks
to my landlord foraccompanying me.I am really grateful to have
her and her husband always there for me..

The rest of the day I spent by surfing the net again and searching
for the old songs.And singing..because I have to sing in the gala
(prom night) in 3 days time.Nervous,worried..It will be the first
 time for me to sing in front of 100 people.Jeen said at least one song,so maybe I will sing two then.The first one will be guang liang 
'ru guo ni hai ai wo'(if u still love me) and the second one will be
jolin tsai'dao dai' (rewind).I really hope I can sing well on sunday..
Gkai said dont think too much,just think about the song.

Today is a nice day.I am relaxed and calm.No tension.
Good luck and congratulations to the JPA batch 7  juniors who get
and who dint get their first choices.May their future will be bright!!
Happy to know kuaci gets his internship(sorry if my blog is abstract
sometimes=.=.I like to read your blog if u want to know..hehe)
Thanks to the family of landlord's daughter for remembering me.
Next timeI will go to your house whatever it happens.I want to
see the little baby.
Hope that jennifer is doing better..
Hope my family is in the pink of health...

*xiao xing*-feels better

...

I should not have read that...
now I feel bad..sad?guilty?scared?dont know...
I have tried very hard to put that issu apart,but now seems everything
comes back again..I dont want!!!
I dont even know the whole story and I feel so helpless.
I cant help myself to feel bad...
I was told,it's not my matter but I feel that I was the main cause of it.
Tired of asking,I gave up.
It's not easy to face them anymore.
Things change.
Maybe I should not be like that before..
Lots of maybe..I regret now.Seriously..
I'm sorry for what I did.

--have to stop now..DS commun of Maths is waiting for me
   two more days..can I manage it?I hope I can..Jia you,pei xin!

*xiao xing*-en a un peu marre de maths

After the holiday..

The first exam after 2 weeks of holiday...There are still 11 exams
in 5weeks.As usual,after holiday,I am not in the mood of study.So,
the result is I couldnt do well in the exam..But nevermind,I told
myself,I will do better in the next one.I consoled myself.I'm getting
used to this situation..

Being quite upset with my watch,I went to the Swatch's shop.The
guarantee certificate doesn't cover the broken bracelet.However,
the madame in the shop is very nice.She asked me to change a new
bracelet but at last I told her that I would think about it.Maybe
because I looked too sad,then she saidI can 'repair' it myself.She
gave me the pearls that I lost and told me to go to see her after
putting all the pearls in the right position.She will fixe it for me.
At that moment,I was like a small girl,grinned at her.After saying
goodbye,I went to search for the transparent string for my bracelet.
Hehe..

It was a sunny day after all.People were wearing t-shirt,walking
on the streets.They looked more cheerful,more friendly...Flowers
are all around.Decided to walk around before going back home.
Girls like shopping,so do I...At last,I found my 'sac à main'(handbeg).
I like it at first sight.It's just a simple silver beg with beads on it..
I think I got everything for the gala but Idont know what to do
with my hair..haha..

*a thought for jennifer'mum and little brother*
--Je suis contente de vous avoir rencontrés.Merci pour tout.
   Vous restez toujours dans mon coeur.J'espère que tu iras bien,jen..

Till then,see ya..Did nothing for tonight..except watching taiwan dramas..

*xiao xing*--happy to be herself..

Grenoble-Paris-Prague-Vienna-Paris-Grenoble

"Voilà,voilà,c'est un cycle de permutation"
( I am getting insane because of maths..lol)

From Orly,Paris,the holiday started..It was a bit hot in Paris.

Took a flight with shobana and jennifer.She was so excited.It
was her first board on plane.I didnt feel very well.Had a great
stomachache.Along the journey to Prague,I dint talk much.
Luckily there was shobana who accompanied jen.We were
welcomed in Prague by a friendly taxi driver.Reached hostel.
Washed up and dodo(sleep).

---Three nights in Prague
--City of cathédrales,holy monuments,bridges,rivers...

We walked a lot.We saw lots of beautiful monuments.We took
lots of photos.But the most interesting part is the encounter
with two kind czech guys.We met Frank in a Swarovski crystal's
shop.We bought some crystals from him and he was kind to give
discounts and he proposed to show us Prague.His friend,Eric came
with us too.They brought us to a nice bar where we tried a black
beer( suitable for girls)  and accompanied us back to the hostel.
It's not really good to believe strangers like them but they are
just nice.They are so funny.They dont speak good french and
english,so they kept talking between them to understand
something.Poor Jennifer,she must have suffered.
I like Prague at night,it's so so beautiful..with lights,flowers...


     

---Two nights in Vienna
--Modern city of art,music,Mozart..

(I had some allergic red spots on my hands,my neck and ...
It's so itchy.I couldnt help myself to scratch over it..)
The first night,we dint have a good sleep because there
was a guy who snorred too loudly at 4 o'clock in the morning.
Next tiring moning,we went out walking around the center.
It's impressive.All the monuments are gathered around.
We couldnt stop from looking at right and left sides of the road.
Without any regret,we went to a concert of Mozart in a nice hall.
There were people playing instruments,people singing and
dancing ballet.It was so nice to see and listen to though we
dont really know the music.The next day,we went shopping,
drinking coffee and eating..



---One night in Paris
--Nice city to look at from the car's windows

It has been a long time since shoba met fahmi.So I
suppose they were happy to see each other.We were
talking while preparing the dinner.At last we ate ayam
masak merah with rice at 10pm.Looking at red spots
on my body,shoba said maybe it was chicken pox and
it stressed me up.I ended up sleeping without taking a
bath.They watched Saw IV while I read my book.I
finished reading' Ensemble,c'est tout'.It's a nice book
to read.The relationship with people can be simple
sometimes.*Sigh*I really hope it's like that.

---Grenoble..for another 1.5months before going back
--It's still a nice city of mine..Il fait beau!

Like what shoba said,'lonely home is home sweet home'.
I feel lonely here but I feel comfortable till I dont feel
like moving.So at last I dint do much things today.
I familiarise myself with my house after 9 days.
So tomorrow I got to gather my energy and force to
start my normal study life..

Need to go to sleep already..eyes small small..
Good night ya..pei xin..

*xiao xing*-searching for motivation

Une personne spéciale...

La même personne
Mais plus le même regard
Le même sourire
Mais plus le même sentiment
La même parole
Mais plus le même ton

Beaucoup de rumeurs
Mais rien de particulier se passe
La faute de qui
Tu prends pas un pas devant
Moi non plus
Et on reste là

Peut-être c'est mieux comme ça
Quoi qu'il arrive
Je veux tu restes comme ce que tu es
Merci pour tout

xiao xing*

three days of bonheur!

Thought of going to lyon since some weeks ago,so I decided to go
there for the weekend.Thanks to wenshao and mah for willing to
sacrifice their 2days of holidays for me..hehe..so touched.

The friday's night,we ate two delicious cakes:framboise cake
(I think) and tiramisu banana cake(made by zaireen).My watch
'explosed' suddenly.I want it back..I guess I dont have 'destiny'
with swatch.sob sob..Then we went to Baroc bar to celebrate
xin zhu's birthday.It's a nice bar and so we took some photos.
Below is a photo that I like much.Everyone looks so cute.



Saturday:We woke up late.On a fait de grasse matinée.We ate 
Bagel donut sandwich for lunch.I like it..thanks for bringing me
there.Forgot to eat icecream though.Then two big guys:wenshao
and mah accompanied me to search for a dress.I tried so many
dresses but at last I dint buy anything.I was fond of one
dress which costs 200euros.OMG,it's just too expensive.Poor two
guys,they should have found that girls are so 'ma fan'.With some
luck,I managed to meet pak am and syafiq.They stopped at lyon
for correspondance.Nice to talk to them after so long.We went to
chow seong's house to cook for dinner.I wanted to make
a cake,so he taught me to do his cheesecake.Then I cooked bihun
goreng for the guys.I know it's not so tasty but it's eatable.aha.
We took some cheesecake and went to disturb the sweet couple:ping tarng and xin zhu.We played cards and again I am 
'nulle' in cards.About 2 o'clock in the morning only we said
goodbye to each other.Had a supper:bihun soup.Although
it's an instant mee,but it tasted good.

Sunday:Another grasse matinée.Holiday ma...After eating curry
for lunch,we walked to 'Parc de la tête d'or" or zoo..hehe..a nice
sunny day.Saw lots of animals.I like there.Green grass,some
flowers,some children..We went to make a round in a casino at Cité
International.We decided to walk back home and go back there
for movie after dinner.At night,there was only five of us and
a couple in the salle to watch Horton.A movie for children,the
story is about an elephant and a speck.It was raining on the way back.

Today morning,I woke up at 10am.Need to take the train.Went
to train station with them.Said goodbye to them and came back
here..Met zhi hui back here.We went shopping and I bought
my dress.Happy^ ^

Thanks to:
wenshao for lodging me
mah for washing the plates
ping tarng and xin zhu for their company
chow seong for the cake and his jokes
Thanks ya,I will miss u all..

The holiday just started but I need to study because I will travel again in some days..
I hope to rest well too during this holiday,want to feel free again..

*xiao xing*-need a rest